Tuesday, 17 September 2013

There's no use in trying to save me

I'm not even sure if I should do this update or not because I don't want to ruin the idea of this blog and why I started it in the first place. The tour. And the tour has ended but oh my I am having serious tour withdrawls at the moment. I was just listening to Because We Can and everything started to come back to me. I hadn't listened to the guys for a while, exactly because of this I guess.

Before I knew it I was on YouTube though, watching videos from my shows and it made everything just a little worse. I saw Water from Cologne and I could just see us jumping up and down at the barrier after spending the night in front of the stadium in our tent. Then I saw Milan, don't even get me started about Milan.... And Berne and how we danced around the back of the pit in Madrid all night after surviving the biggest stress i've had in my entire life thanks to the strike at Lisbon airport. Now some months have passed (SOME MONTHS THIS HURTS SO MUCH IT'S BEEN SO LONG) I'm actually starting to realise what we did and how many places we went to and I don't even understand how we survived everything. I mean it was kind of crazy, but I would literally do it again right now. I miss it, every single thing about it.

I just really really hope that the next time we are going to do this, because yes I honestly genuinly believe there will be a next time, that Richie will be there again with the boys. It hurts so much that he's still not back. I can't even believe that this is actually happening. I was just thinking about it again, because the first anniversary of our meeting with him is coming closer and it's so weird, I don't understand. :-( Just fix whatever is keeping you apart, it's not worth it. It can't be worth it!

Anyway, I am going back to YouTube for a while to watch some more videos and I am going to leave you with a picture of my completely updated tour wall so this post will have a proper reason to be up here. I used to have the pictures and the tickets framed but there simply was no way on earth that I could put pictures and tickets from nine more shows up there as well so I decided to re-do everything, without frames. In black and white and even though it took forever I am so in love with the result!

Bye bye bye

Monday, 22 July 2013

London - the photos

It's been a little over two weeks since the tour ended in London-town and I still find myself thinking things like: 'oh I need to buy this and this for the tour' just to realise a second later that there is no tour anymore. So yeah, those are painful moments. Other than that I am doing alright. I mean, my days are not the most exciting ones in my life but at least the weather is good and I am sat here in the garden eating cherries while writing this, so I think it could be a lot worse. The fact that we are working on something that might extend our tour also really helps me, but I can't say too much about that yet. Will get back to that later. Now I just wanted to share some pictures from London, because I forgot to include those in my last post. 

See you all soon, maybe sooner than we first thought. Let's hope so!

No Sofia at the last show, but the stage was cool anyway!

Safe the best wristband for last
Pre-show Hard Rock Café dinner
Bijschrift toevoegen


Actual smiles before the last show
But then it started to show...

Us and Ursss

Aaand us and our lovely friend Hasan

The infamous post-show (and tour) tears
Packed and ready to go... sort of

The dreaded flight home
A VERY charming selfie, when I was about to get off the train in my hometown

Tuesday, 9 July 2013

London: blood on blood, one on one

9 shows, 9 cities, 7 countries and it's all over.

Four days and counting and I feel... weird. The only thing I did today was get up and then I took a shower at 18:30. That's literally it. I meant to do a lot of things... I wanted to start framing tickets, unpack my last few bags, start on a photo album, I wanted to go to the library, text a few friends, go out, do anything... but it just didn't happen. Instead I just sat here in my room. I think I'm a bit lost.

It's alright though, I knew it was going to happen because I remember it damn well from previous tours, but still it's always just a little worse when you reached that point again. This may sound dramatic to those who have never toured like this but just imagine that for weeks in a row you see the most amazing cities, spend all your time with people who understand exactly what you are feeling, they are your friends, and almost every single night you get to see your heroes play live and then from one day to the next it's all gone again... And that is where I am right now. I'm not even very sad (yet), everything just feels... weird.

I have to go back to work tomorrow, which is probably the last step back into the real world but maybe it's a good thing... That will force me to get up and do stuff...  but before I'm ready to do so I first have to write this last blogpost about London.

After we (finally!) managed to get Diamond circle tickets for London we decided right away that we wouldn't queue. The Fanclub trip was going in before anyone else anyway and there were about 200 of them so there was no point. We would go for the back of the pit again. On show day I was extra happy with our DC because it was really really hot in London. First we slept until ten, then we went to the venue to pick up our Golden Circle Fanclub tickets and hand them to the buyers (I think we literally were the only ones who managed to sell GC after DC went back on sale so thank you very much!) and after that we walked around London for a while, had dinner at the Hard Rock Café and we went back to Hyde Park at four o'clock.

The first thing we did was find the BJ merch stand because this would be our last chance to buy a t-shirt. We spent the whole tour trying to figure out what t-shirt we should buy and I really didn't like any of them that much (except for the red one but that one was made for the North America tour, I mean why?!) but eventually I bought the grey one with the tour dates on the back. I love t-shirts that have the dates on it, especially when I went to nine of them. ;-) Not that anybody else knows that, but it's just a nice thought I guess...

Anyway, after a while we went into the pit to say hi to our friends but we didn't stay long. It was like a sauna in front of the stage where there was no wind or shade at all (99 in the shade would have been the perfect theme song of this tour), so we said hi and bye and decided to come back as late as we possibly could. In the shade beside the stage then, we sat down and got visits from a lot of our friends who all wanted to escape the heat as well and one by one they sat with us for a while for a chat and we all avoided that one subject. 'The Last One'. It was when I sat there though, and spoke to everyone again, that I realised how close to the end we now were and it scared me so much. I remember tweeting something like: "everyone's here and it's so nice and I'm so scared" and that basically sums it up.

Time went by quickly though and an hour later we were in the pit awaiting the start of the show one last time. It was sad that Sofia (the stage) wasn't there anymore but hey, at least the guys were. The show started at around 7:30 and luckily it had cooled down a bit. The first song that night was Rocking All Over The World and I was thankful for that because that's just a happy, feel-good song that always works. After that Bad Name and then, for the first time this European tour, Water was the third one. For a moment I was afraid they would skip it but thank God they didn't! The show continued like it had done almost every night with Raise Your Hands, Born To Be My Baby (including a screw up from poor Phil and a big fat stink eye from JBJ) then Lost Highway and It's My Life and the first part of the show actually was absolutely fine. I was enjoying it and at that point I probably still hoped it would stay that way. Except for the fact that we had the most annoying girls in front of us though. Drunk girls who kept talking and taking photos of themselves. The thought that I would have them in front of me for the rest of that last show made me kind of sad and frustrated but luckily they disappeared when Jon went out on the catwalk during Bad Medicine.

During Saturday Night it all began to slowly sink in for the first time I guess. I love that song and some of the lyrics made it impossible for me to ignore it any longer. I looked up at the guys, at Jon with his guitar and then I looked around me, so many familiar faces who were all thinking the same thing. Please don't let this ever end. But it had to and the show continued, every song they finished was one step closer to the last one. We didn't get many surprises like is Lisbon two years ago but it was alright. We all know the reason why...

Then during Captain Crash the confetti mess reached a new high and it was so much fun. Especially because we used the moment to throw confetti in the bags and perfect hairdo's of the annoying girls in front of us and the rest of the main set went on like it had done all tour. One last countdown during Sleep, one last jukebox, one last it's alright.

The first song of the first encore was Dry County, amazing and definitely Phil's best performance of that song, like he tweeted the day after! I recorded Wanted for the video thing they are doing and that is about the only video I made all tour. (except for the 20 seconds of Diamond Ring we got... well... somewhere. Was it Berne? I'm not sure) Love's The Only Rule was amazing, I didn't expect them to play it anymore so I was so glad they did. I love that song so much, it always takes me right back to that moment in Hershey, USA when we first heard it live during that magical trip. It'll always be a special song! Then Have A Nice Day (pff) and Prayer. At that point I started to fear that it could be the last song of the night... I remember standing there thinking: what if this really is the end.... What if they wave one last time and walk off and leave... But that didn't happen. Jon and the guys weren't ready yet either.

No, it was time for Always, the moment I feared all night. I think i've mentioned it before in my blogs but somehow I've been struggling with that song all tour and that night it was the worst and the best song they could have played. I think I managed to hold back the tears for a line or two and then they came. I literally just broke down and started to cry. Real bad. And because of that Nikita started as well. It got to a point where the woman beside me held me for a while to make sure I was alright, that was really sweet. I didn't even try to explain it to her though, I just nodded and tried to smile.

It continued during These Days and for a second I was afraid that I was actually going to throw up. I wasn't hysterically, not at all. In fact I just stood there with my hands pressed against my chest, singing along while the tears came down and I felt so sad, so sad to have to let them go and at the same time I was also so happy and thankful. Blood on Blood was the last song and they couldn't have picked a more perfect ending of this tour. Blood on blood, one on one. And that was really it. Jon didn't say as much as he did in Lisbon but I don't think there was anything left to say. The band hugged each other and stood there with their arms around each other for a few seconds as if they were saying: we made it, we did it, and it was so beautiful. They did it, we all did it together.

After the show we held a big crying party in the pit. We said our goodbyes to everyone, thanked each other took pictures, hugged each other one last time and smiled through our tears. It was magical until the security disturbed the party and made us all leave the pit. I think they didn't understand why everyone was being so dramatical... :')

That night I was afraid to go to sleep because that meant it would really be over but there was no way back. It already was anyway... We flew home on Saturday and since then I'm at home, confused, happy, sad and feeling weird and thankful.

So I guess now it's time for the most frustrating bit because I know even before I start that I will never find the right words to describe how thankful I really am to have this band in my life. And it's not just them... it's everything around it as well. They have given me so much. We talked about it many times this tour but it's so special to be able to share this with so many people who understand exactly how you feel and what it is like. So thank you everyone for the chats, the laughs, the hugs, the memories!

And then there is of course the boys. I have tried to thank them every single tour and I'm going to do it again. It has been different, it has been hard and difficult at times but I enjoyed it more than I ever thought I would be able to. Sure, there were times where I missed Richie badly. Especially during songs like I'll Be There For You, Wanted and Dry County and then thorough the shows because the magic between Jon and Richie wasn't there, obviously. And I hated that, but I didn't allow myself to think about it too much and Jon didn't allow anyone to think about it too much either. I have always been a JBJ girl, no matter how much I love Richie and the rest of the band, but this tour he gained so much more respect from me as well. I have so much respect for what he pulled off this tour. It wasn't easy, not at all, but he did it. Like no one else could have done it. Then there was Phil X, who had the impossible task of filling in for the one and only Richie Sambora, but he did an amazing job. He is an amazing guitarist and stayed in the background but he was having so much fun that it was impossible not to love him. The smiles, the interaction with the fans... so amazing! It was also beautiful to see how Jon, Tico and David seemed closer to each other than ever before.

And I guess that's it then... So many memories, so many adventures, so many tears, smiles with my friends and the best band in the world and there is nothing left to say. Well... there is, there always is ;-but I'm gonna stop it right here. I'll keep this blog online and I might post a few more things later on as well because even though this tour ended it never really will for me. Thank you for reading this blog, I hope you enjoyed it. :-)

See you all soon, here or on the road with the guys somewhere !

Love, Anjelica

bye bye bye

Sunday, 7 July 2013

it's hard letting you go

Yes I know, I know I have not said a word about the London show yet. But I will, I really will. Just... not yet.

Thursday, 4 July 2013

Glasgow on a beautiful Wednesday night

Hello from the plane between Glasgow and London! (Well technically I am posting this from our hotel room in London, but picture me at the window on row 22 of an EasyJet plane for the full experience.) I did write this on the plane though because I didn't know what else to do, and it was another excuse to talk about the show. And the band. And Jon. And our spot last night.

Like I said in my last blog, we had the best numbers we've ever had for Diamond Circle and the day at the venue went by like all others. A bit colder maybe, but at least it was dry. Ticket pick-up was hilarious this time because we finally got the "E" wristband we were hoping for. Now our wristbands spell the word "loser" which makes you wonder if Backstage did that on purpose... but trust me, we don't need another reminder of that... ;-) We went in a little before 16:00 and got the most perfect spot ever. In between Jon and Phil, right where we wanted to be. While the two support acts were playing (bad support acts once again, why can't we have the Breakers back? They were so much fun two years ago) I read magazines and talked to my new favourite security guy, Kevin. A guy from America who moved to Scotland and he was very fascinated by our tour and our dedication. He literally told all his colleagues and kept asking questions, so sweet!

For the first time during our tour Bon Jovi hit the stage twenty minutes late and I have to admit that it was very intimidating to see Jon from so close again when they finally turned up. It obviously wasn't the first time, yet it keeps happening. It's just surreal, I don't know... it's weird. But good. Very good. ;-)

The show itself didn't have any surprises, except for Superman Tonight but I don't know if that even counts as a surprise or a special song. For me it definitely was though, last night anyway because Jon and I had a little moment during that song. And trust me, I know what that sounds like but I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't a hundred percent sure. He sung a few lines at me and I sang along, and then he smiled and I somehow managed to smile back at him, even though I was literally dying.

The really weird thing about this show was that it could have had a very good set because the whole band was in a very good mood and the crowd was great as well. I think. Because honestly I haven
t seen too much of it, Jon looked genuinely pleased though, and that says something. The audibles on the setlist were amazing, but I guess we'll never know what made them stick to the original 21 songs. Oh well... At least I got a copy of the setlist after the show, and it will forever remind me of what could have been...

No, the reason I really do still feel happy about this show is probably named Jon. I won't be too detailed about it because you all know what he can be like (and if not, you are seriously missing out!) But with a set like this I am allowed to talk about "the other things" so I'd just like to thank him for being the front man that he is. I have nothing but respect for what he managed to do this tour.

Bút that sounds like I am thanking people already and I am still in denial about the fact that we are fastly approaching the last show now, so this has to wait until i'm depressed, without Bon Jovi and lifeless again. ;-)

Oh by the way: yesterday when Jon was doing his thank you speech before Wanted he reassured everyone of the fact that the band isn't going anywhere anytime soon and I also just read that tonight at the Fanclub Trip Q&A Jon said to the fans there that "we managed to get through this together" and I think that just describes it perfectly. For all of us. Yes it has been different, but we did it. And it was great, BUT here I go again... Let's end this post right here.

See you all in London for one more time, one more night with the best band in the world, even though for me this tour will never really end.

Bye bye bye bye

Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Days off in Glasgow

Glasgow! I love it so far. We got here at around 17:00 yesterday after a very, very long taxi, train, plane, bus, train, walk - journey! And did nothing but eat and go to sleep. Today we woke up with rain and right now it's still raining and it was so cold! Like seriously cold. 14 degrees or something. 

So the first thing we did today was shop for warm clothes. I don't know how it happened but I literally did not pack anything with long sleeves, except for denim jackets. :-/ I found a superman hoodie at Primark though and I bought it, I wonder if that means I have been touring for too long. :') Then later today we did the sightseeing bus tour, which was fun but we didn't get off the bus once because of the weater. (THE COLD!) 

After dinner we went to the venue to put our names on the list. #9 Diamond! We are not allowed to camp out though so we'll have to be back by seven tomorrow morning. That's so nice! What's also nice is the fact that we got DC FOR LONDON! I'm so happy, I really didn't want to be in the GC for the last show of the tour (omy I said it) 

And now we are in our room chilling and looking at all the money we've spent so far. Maybe I should have waited with that just a few more days because o my god! No, I'm just saying that because I know it's how I should feel about it, but I'm really not because these last few weeks are worth SO much more and I really mean that. Alright! It's bedtime now. :-D

Bye bye bye

Monday, 1 July 2013


Hi from the train between Berne and Geneva airport! We slept well tonight (6,5 hours) and I'm enjoying the views from the train. We haven't seen much of Berne because we've only been there for about 22 hours but now I'm still able to do some sightseeing, and listen to Bon Jovi while doing it. 

We didn't do anything yesterday. We got to the venue at around eleven but by then there were already about 70 DC people on the list so we decided to go for the back of the pit again. Our new favourite spot with a lot of room to dance and jump around. The hotel was a five minute walk from the stadium and we could see it from our window. I wish we had that in every city!

In the afternoon we went back to pick up our tickets and to buy a tour book. We also played a game of 'guess the bon jovi' song against two Germans in a tent from a local radio station. We won, of course - within 20 seconds. The presenter was impressed and surprised when we guessed all the songs before they even really started, it was so funny and we won sunscreen and a light for the show.

We went inside at 5 and the show started at 19:30. The support act was baaaad and if the time it took most contestants to guess songs like Wild in The Streets, Water and Never Say Goodbye in the tent outside was going to be an indication of what the crowd would be like tonight, it was going to be tough, and it was - at first! Especially after San Siro. 

They started with Rocking All Over The World and Jon came on with a face that tells you just how excited he was. Not good! Fake smiles and everything The bad sunglasses he was wearing didn't help either though. Anyway two songs in the people in the seats were still seated and Jon spend a minute getting them up, he said: "This ain't a motherfucking tv show, c'mon!" We looked at each other and laughed, that man sometimes...

Most people around us didn't notice anything, they were too busy taking pictures of themselves with the band in the background. During Army of One it literally felt like we were the only ones jumping and singing. Jon kept mentioning San Siro and asked who was there last night (whoo-hoo) and how special it had been (We are obviously not the only ones who left their hearts in Milan) and he eventually managed to turn it all around! The crowd got excited, Jon's smiles real. He said he had some surprises for us because the show was a thank you for San Siro and it turned out to be an amazing show!

We got Diamond Ring, Army of One, Blood on Blood, Radio, These Days, What's Left Of Me, Undivided and Not Running Anymore (although I don't love that one) AND they skipped HAND and Born To Be My Baby, dream coming true!

Now we only got two shows left and it makes me so sad. Luckily the next show isn't until Wednesday though so we got some time to take a breath and think anout everythig that has happened since I left home exactly one week ago! 

Talk soon xxxx bye bye bye